"Tweeting your vines, hashtagging your Spotifys and Snapchatting your YOLOs. Your generation needs everything to be about you, and that’s very upsetting to us baby boomers because self-absorption is kind of our thing. We’re the original ‘me’ generation. We made the last 50 years all about us. We took all the money. We soaked up all the government services. And we deep-fried nearly everything in the ocean."