And now comes the part in the insurance application where I lie through my teeth.
What’s intriguing about this 1931 map is how much beer they’re still drinking in the Rust Belt during Prohibition. That map would track reasonably well with a map of today.
But after nearly a decade of temperance, why all the beer? As a drug, it’s inferior to liquor or wine because the lower proof means lower street value. As contraband, it’s harder to smuggle because it takes up more mass. Distribution is difficult because, well, how many bottles of beer can your average scofflaw walk away with? Otherwise they have to consume it on site, at the speakeasy or wherever. Maybe there were advantages in brewing speed? More turnover = greater profit?
Looking at this map you’d think Prohibition had practically no affect on drinking habits at all. Funny, that.
On the off-chance you haven’t made your final beer run, on this, our true national high holy day, here’s a public service announcement from the folks who brought you “the weekend.”
Pre-game accordingly.
Modern Luxury on the state of affairs:
From the time I muscled my way to the bar, imploringly stared down the busy bartender, and shouted in and received our order of four cocktails, the process took about 30 minutes. I don’t think it was because the bartenders were sloths. They were all working hard. I just think this kind of slow service is inevitable when a bar is making these kind of cocktails—especially if the bar is slammed. This gripe been thrown around since Bourbon & Branch was born in 2006 (though I personally think table service, like B & B, is the way to go). Years into the mixology movement, it’s clear that bars of this ilk aren’t going to change, no matter how much they say they’re going to simplify or speed it up. As a customer, we should know what we’re getting into and it’s up to us to decide whether it’s worth it. Which is to say—starting in 2013, it’s not the bar, it’s you. Or in this case, me.
So true.
When I left bartending about a decade ago, the trend was in its infancy. And honestly, it was kind of nice. A kaffir lime here, a custom vermouth there. “Mixology” was always a twee term, sure, but the idea of giving mixed drinks the same nuance as an appetizer or an entree was well received.
Now it’s an invasive species that needs to be removed, root and branch. If a drink can’t be mixed in 30 seconds, it’s not a drink, it’s performance art. The use of more than three ingredients is, as they say in Lubbock, burzh-wa.
Apparently its flavored with a combination of grape, dragon fruit and papaya, which is guess is perfect if you’re trying to slip someone a roofie at Bar None. Maybe if you dump it into a 40 of High Life it’ll taste like Four Loko…
Abomination.
Viva la resistance.
“It’s the Water.” Put us to shame, admen of another century.
I hasten to add that we 21st century whiz kids long for the ecumenical truth of such a motto, our world filled to overflowing with such vague entreaties to Live Strongly or Invent Everything. We are left staring into a vacuum of the middling phrase where we ought to be staring down the sun of a dynamo.
Keep It Simple, Stupid.
Bravo.
(Source: christopherperez)
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
Ann Landers (via ageofreason)
holy shit. premixed bulleit & coke is available in england.
AMERICAN LIQUOR STORES, STEP YOUR FUCKING GAME UP.
ABC RAIDS TOURIST BAR
Associated Press
San Francisco, CA
Monday, November 22, 2010
After a 2 a.m. sting operation, the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control has closed the Buena Vista Cafe pending further investigation. A favorite drinking spot for tourists on San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf, the Buena Vista is accused by ABC officials of marketing its signature cocktail, the Irish Coffee, to minors.
“It’s combines caffeine with alcohol,” said an ABC spokesman. “In light of the impending FDA ban on Four Loko, we must push for equal enforcement. No one is above the law.”
“Honestly, we’re shocked.” said proprietor Seamus Finn, “We’ve been making this mixture of coffee, whiskey, sugar and cream for over half a century now. There’s never been a problem. I mean, there was that time Herb Caen exposed himself, but that was over 20 years ago.”
City Attorney Dennis Herrera disagreed. “The Irish Coffee is the Joe Camel of alcoholic beverages. We should close them for blending liquor and coffee alone. But the sugar and whipped cream clearly indicates they’re marketing this cocktail to minors.”
The FDA ban “should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous and toxic drinks,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-New York) who has pushed the Obama administration to ban the beverages.
Schumer’s office put forward a recent study which showed drinkers who combine alcohol and caffeine are more likely to be injured, sexually assaulted, drive while drinking and require medical attention than those who drink caffeine-free drinks.
“Who will think of the children?” asked Lt. Gov.-elect Gavin Newsom.
Not all San Francisco’s elected officials are cheering the move. State Senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco) said, “This is insane.” When pressed for further comment he said, “I thought this was San Francisco. When did we turn into Vacaville?”
Prominent local photographer Brizz struck a warier note. “First, they came for the Four Loko. And I did not speak up. Because I was not a Four Loko-er.”
Residents of the lower Haight were less forgiving. “I didn’t speak up because Four Loko tastes like ass,” said a local gutterpunk. “At least Sparks had faint notes of wheat — not unlike a lager,” he added. “What the fuck’s an Irish Coffee, again? Is that like Bailey’s or something?”
The Federal Trade Commission, which regulates the marketing of the drinks, declined to comment.
The Irish Coffee stands with Four Loko.
We tip one for our fallen brother, Sparks.
