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Bill Simmons on the subject of elephants in rooms: 

I believe that Ray Lewis cheated. I believe that to be true based on circumstantial evidence, his age, his overcompetitiveness, the history of that specific injury, and the fact that his “recovery” made my shit detector start vibrating like a chainsaw.
I believe in my right to write the previous paragraph because athletes pushed us to this point. We need better drug testing. We need blood testing. We need biological passports. We need that stuff now. Not in three years. Not in two years. Now. I don’t even know what I am watching anymore.
I believe we need to fix this disconnect between our private conversations and our public ones. Cheating in professional sports is an epidemic. Wondering about the reasons behind a dramatically improved performance, or a dramatically fast recovery time, shouldn’t be considered off-limits for media members. We shouldn’t feel like scumbags bringing this stuff up. It’s part of sports.

Bill Simmons on the subject of elephants in rooms: 

I believe that Ray Lewis cheated. I believe that to be true based on circumstantial evidence, his age, his overcompetitiveness, the history of that specific injury, and the fact that his “recovery” made my shit detector start vibrating like a chainsaw.

I believe in my right to write the previous paragraph because athletes pushed us to this point. We need better drug testing. We need blood testing. We need biological passports. We need that stuff now. Not in three years. Not in two years. Now. I don’t even know what I am watching anymore.

I believe we need to fix this disconnect between our private conversations and our public ones. Cheating in professional sports is an epidemic. Wondering about the reasons behind a dramatically improved performance, or a dramatically fast recovery time, shouldn’t be considered off-limits for media members. We shouldn’t feel like scumbags bringing this stuff up. It’s part of sports.

Patton Oswalt - “Robert Evans” (2004)

"A few years ago the ESPN Sports Network, I don’t know why they decided to do this …. ‘We need to do some radio ads to promote our sports network. Who should we get as our spokesman? Maybe a heroic athlete, perhaps a legendary coach, or?… wait a minute.

Let’s get movie producer Robert Evans. Yeah. Let’s get Cokey McSnortfuck from Beverly Hills.’

Now, his books on tape are psychotic enough, but these radio ads are like listening to the ramblings of a fucking mental patient. And then at the end he barely ties it in with sports. He comes on going…”