Hi. I don’t normally make big purchases. I am adverse to them, even.
But this was a good bike at a nice price. I saved up for it. I wanted this good bike at this nice price.
I had it for two weeks. I rode it twice. Once, on the way home from the store, and then, to Sausalito and back. A beautiful day.
It was stolen from my backyard tonight. Not quite sure how. It was way past the other bikes, all the other bikes in the little bike tunnel in our backyard. It was picked out, selected, stolen, fresh and new. Nothing before has ever been stolen from our backyard.
If you see someone riding around on a bone white Jamis Aurora,
punch them in the face. Or maybe ask them, first, where they acquired such a bike, and then if their answer seems in the least bit fishy, punch them in the face, and stomp them, and take their bike away and email me, stat, because I never bothered with nice bikes before, and now that I have, shit, I got robbed. I would like my bike back.
If anyone is going to the robber’s market at 15th and Mission tomorrow, please, look for this. It stands 59cm high, which is too high for lots of people, which will hopefully diminish its resale velocity, which will give you a wider time frame during which to
punch a fucker in the face.
(Edits made. Please do not punch anyone in the face. Especially as this is not a particularly unique bike, and you would likely be punching an innocent.)
And, in all seriousness, please, I would like this back. Impossible, I know, but shit. But shit. Shit fuck and all that. I paid so much to ride a bike twice. Embarrassing.