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On the off-chance you haven’t made your final beer run, on this, our true national high holy day, here’s a public service announcement from the folks who brought you “the weekend.”
Pre-game accordingly.

On the off-chance you haven’t made your final beer run, on this, our true national high holy day, here’s a public service announcement from the folks who brought you “the weekend.”

Pre-game accordingly.

Bill Simmons on the subject of elephants in rooms: 

I believe that Ray Lewis cheated. I believe that to be true based on circumstantial evidence, his age, his overcompetitiveness, the history of that specific injury, and the fact that his “recovery” made my shit detector start vibrating like a chainsaw.
I believe in my right to write the previous paragraph because athletes pushed us to this point. We need better drug testing. We need blood testing. We need biological passports. We need that stuff now. Not in three years. Not in two years. Now. I don’t even know what I am watching anymore.
I believe we need to fix this disconnect between our private conversations and our public ones. Cheating in professional sports is an epidemic. Wondering about the reasons behind a dramatically improved performance, or a dramatically fast recovery time, shouldn’t be considered off-limits for media members. We shouldn’t feel like scumbags bringing this stuff up. It’s part of sports.

Bill Simmons on the subject of elephants in rooms: 

I believe that Ray Lewis cheated. I believe that to be true based on circumstantial evidence, his age, his overcompetitiveness, the history of that specific injury, and the fact that his “recovery” made my shit detector start vibrating like a chainsaw.

I believe in my right to write the previous paragraph because athletes pushed us to this point. We need better drug testing. We need blood testing. We need biological passports. We need that stuff now. Not in three years. Not in two years. Now. I don’t even know what I am watching anymore.

I believe we need to fix this disconnect between our private conversations and our public ones. Cheating in professional sports is an epidemic. Wondering about the reasons behind a dramatically improved performance, or a dramatically fast recovery time, shouldn’t be considered off-limits for media members. We shouldn’t feel like scumbags bringing this stuff up. It’s part of sports.

Not going to lie. My fantasy of scoring the Superbowl-winning field-goal with that bottle of orange Jalisco in the middle of the crosswalk is irresistible.The wind is blowing left to right at about 15 mph. Put me in coach. I can absolutely place it between the Taco Bell and Culturefest sign. I don’t care how high that linebacker jumps. Place it higher than the “Drive-Thru” line? Yes. Consider it done.
GOAL! The Niners are bustin out the bubbly.

Not going to lie. My fantasy of scoring the Superbowl-winning field-goal with that bottle of orange Jalisco in the middle of the crosswalk is irresistible.

The wind is blowing left to right at about 15 mph. Put me in coach. I can absolutely place it between the Taco Bell and Culturefest sign. I don’t care how high that linebacker jumps. Place it higher than the “Drive-Thru” line? Yes. Consider it done.

GOAL! The Niners are bustin out the bubbly.

Why yes, that is the color scheme for the San Francisco 49ers.

Now that you ask.

Why yes, that is the color scheme for the San Francisco 49ers.

Now that you ask.

I’m all for San Francisco civic pride. I’d love to see a brand-new facility for the 49ers at the site of the old Kezar Stadium, or anywhere within the city limits. Given the ridiculous nature of such dreams, and the fact that Hunters Point isn’t San Francisco (geographically, culturally, you name it) and never will be, why not move to Santa Clara?

Bruce Jenkins, an otherwise fine sportswriter, who should be docked a week’s pay.