Look what I just found in the trunk of my car! Ride home over the Bay Bridge is gonna be AWESOME.
You don’t have a cassette player in your car? Sucks to be YOU, Mr. Living In The 21st Century. Well, if you need, I can record a live play-by-play of the AWESOMENESS and post that later. Because that will not in any way be excruciating.
In other news, I bet Poison features at least two guys who support thongs-as-scrunchies. Y’know?
YES. That cassette holds a special place in my heart. In 4th grade we’d show the cover to other, less pop-culturally aware boys and ask, “Which of these chicks would you rather have sex with?”
After they’d made their choice, you’d say “They’re all men.” Then their face would sour, having fell for the elementary school version of The Crying Game. And you’d laugh and call them homos and gaylords and butt-pirates. It was Catholic school, so heteronormative shaming techniques were not only allowed, but actively encouraged.
PS. The answer was always Rockett, lower right corner. Good times.