While I was in the process of leaving my abusive ex-partner, I confided in my social worker (after asking at length about her confidentiality policy, which she assured me was full proof) that I had previously worked as a sex worker in a parlor. She agreed to leave this off my notes but informed that had I still been working at that time, she would have informed child protective services. When I asked why, since I was based away from my house and my children were looked after by family while I was at work, she said that “prostitution is usually indicative of other issues.” Later, speaking to a friend of mine at the brothel about this, she told me that her child had been removed from her care because her ex partner told child protective services about her job during a custody dispute. There did not need to be “other issues”; the assumption of other dysfunction and ignorance of the realities of sex work was enough that she lost her child to the state. Another friend of mine from the same parlor was threatened by her soon to be ex-husband with being outed if she obtained legal council during their separation. Rather than take the risk of losing her children and her family, she lost her house, financial stability, all her savings and everything she had worked for up to that point. Her ex-husband took everything.
Anyone for sex after death? The Necrocard.
TOO MUCH WISDOM.
HEAD HURTZ.
Did you see the one where the mullah tries to jivetalk the whore with some Manichean bullshit?
She jujutsus his Aesop routine and says, “I work by induction, fool.”
Social media is ruining everything good in this world.
Trigger warning: rape apology, rape culture, sexual assault
The problem with this? Rape isn’t a property crime.
And if you can find the sentence where that’s asserted, you might have a point.
It’s a crime on a person’s body, and it’s a violent crime. You can’t lock your body away like you would your keys.
I am much more likely to be assaulted in high-crime areas. I hide myself away from those areas. And we can have a conversation about class and poverty and an inability to escape such crime hot-spots, but that’s a second order of business.
Your body comes with you everywhere, and you can’t hide it. That’s right, even clothes won’t hide your body, because everyone knows there is still a body underneath! So, this metaphor is bullshit,
Your insistence on treating metaphor as a literal parallel is bullshit. The whole point of metaphor is that it’s not literally applicable. Given your comment, we can’t use metaphor when talking about crime.
and anyone who is “serious about preventing rape” won’t perpetuate the victim-blaming mentality that it perpetuates.
While you may be serious about preventing rape, you’re unserious about discussing rape. I’d argue they’re correlated.
My high-level takeaway, though, is that this is where men have the most work to do. We’re perceived terribly by women, including but not only our potential sex partners. This perception may be entirely based not on something we’ve done but things other men have done. On my account, though, it is based as much on the social structures we participate in as men, and the ways they operate in the culture. On my account, as long as there is a lot of rape and not a lot of remedy, as long as there is slut-shaming and double-standards, as long as the denial of the technologies women need to mitigate the risks of unintended pregnancy and disease, then they’re going to look askance at us, and they’re going to act like they have more risk and less to gain from sex with us, because in fact they do. The only way to make a lasting peace between men and women is to make a world where the advantages and disadvantages are more evenly distributed.
NYT:
It may seem hard to believe that men could distinguish a woman who’s at peak fertility simply by sitting next to her for a few minutes. Scientists long assumed that ovulation in humans was concealed from both sexes.
But recent studies have found large changes in cues and behavior when a woman is at this stage of peak fertility. Lap dancers get much higher tips (unless they’re taking birth-control pills that suppress ovulation, in which case their tips remain lower). The pitch of a woman’s voice rises. Men rate her body odor as more attractive and respond with higher levels of testosterone …
At this peak-fertility stage, women are more interested in going to parties and dance clubs, and they dress more attractively (as judged by both men and women). Some women’s attitudes toward their own partners also change, according to research by Dr. Haselton along with a U.C.L.A. colleague, Christina Larson, and Steven Gangestad of the University of New Mexico.
“Women who are in steady relationships with men who are not very sexually attractive — those who lack the human equivalent of the peacock’s tail — suddenly start to notice other men and flirt,” Dr. Haselton said. “They are also more critical of their steady partners and feel less ‘one’ with them on those few days before ovulation.” But that doesn’t mean they’re planning to walk out.
“These women don’t show any shifts in feelings of commitment,” Dr. Haselton said. “They don’t want to leave their steady partners. They just want to look around at other men and consider them as alternative sex partners.”
This fits the “good genes” evolutionary explanation for adultery: a quick fling with a good-looking guy can produce a child with better genes, who will therefore have a better chance of passing along the mother’s genes. But this sort of infidelity is risky if the woman’s unsexy long-term partner finds out and leaves her alone to raise the child. So it makes sense for her to limit her risks by being unfaithful only at those times she’s fertile.
By that same evolutionary logic, it makes sense for her partner to be most worried when she’s fertile, and that’s just what occurred in the relationships tracked by Dr. Haselton and Dr. Gangestad. The unsexy men became especially jealous and engaged in more “mate-guarding” during the stage of high fertility — perhaps because they sense the subtle physical cues, or maybe just because they could see the overt flirting …
BREAKING: HUGH HEFNER IS A CREEPY OLD DUDE WHO KINDA EXPLOITS WOMEN.
Beforehand, all the girls were told to take a bath. ‘I got in, then another girl appeared from nowhere and jumped in with me,’ recalls Spaulding. ‘Then Hef stepped around the corner and took a photo of us naked in the bath together before disappearing. It was all very strange.
‘Another girl led me into Hef’s master bedroom. The only light was coming from two TVs on which adult films were showing. All the other girls were there, dressed like me in pink pyjamas.
‘If you kept your pyjama bottoms on, that was a sign that you didn’t want to have contact that night.’ According to Spaulding there were 12 girls there on that first night, and only she and another girl declined the offer to have sex with Hefner, who did not use a condom.
‘There was no protection and no testing for sexually transmitted diseases,’ she says.
Izabella St James, it seems, was much more open about having a physical relationship with him. ‘I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not,’ she recalls. ‘But he just lay there like a dead fish.
‘We often wondered why he did it at all. He must know deep down that it is just a show. But he is trying to live out this fantasy he has been selling to people since 1954. He wants to live up to the Playboy image he created and the expectations people have of him.’ ‘Hef looked absolutely furious, and one of the girls hissed at me that I was disappointing him. I didn’t care. Hef’s face was like thunder but I was left alone.’
Although still hoping to make Playboy centrefold, Jill Ann Spaulding was determined to resist becoming intimate with Hefner and quickly discovered the consequences when she returned to his room for another of the sex parties, keeping her pyjama bottoms determinedly on. The other girls soon made it clear that she was expected to take them off.
‘I was terrified. They were all looking at me, including Hef from the bed — just staring straight at me. I said firmly that I couldn’t join in.
‘Hef looked absolutely furious, and one of the girls hissed at me that I was disappointing him. I didn’t care. Hef’s face was like thunder but I was left alone.’
Spaulding was quickly dismissed from the Playboy mansion
Want to go on record agreeing with this point. Having trouble coming to terms with my newfound identity as a rapist.
The bad acting in the photo-documentation of female hysteria should have tipped someone off to a bullshit malady.
The difficulty with Joan Holloway
It’s not a diet salad dressing. It’s a female arousal oil for which the networks refuse to run advertising. How odd, considering the fact that primetime television is brimming with geriatrics yammering on about four hour erections.
This rather blatant gender-based double standard has more than a few people wondering out loud to network executives, why are vaginas so scary?
I’m kind of curious myself.
Female sexuality power is scary.
The abayas aren’t for your benefit, they’re for ours. Women can hold the deeds to their own property and abort our seeds and do all manner of things unchecked. But we’ll be damned if we let you hold every advantage. If you start to enjoy sex as much as we do, if you start making decisions based on your own sexual happiness, they might conflict with our needs and interests.
We can’t have that. That would lead to chaos. Or matriarchy, which is worse.
Whoa, hey, what?
I thought Apple’s iTunes policy for iPhone apps was really strict.
